Thursday, January 28, 2010

True friends...

Recently I had a friendship dissolve for no apparent reason. I tried to reason in my head why this even happened. Eventually I convinced myself that we were never truly friends. On my end we were, but on the other...we were not.

What did I do? I was too nice. What, that's modest of But it is true. I did anything for her. I would drop plans just to hang with her. I would agree with her if even on the inside I was screaming "YOU CAN'T TRULY BELIEVE WHAT YOU'RE SAYING!". And the list could go on. Maybe it was love. I did love her. At first in a "I hope she'll be my girlfriend" way and eventually in a "I want to protect her and we're only friends" way. And I thought that she felt the same way, I mean that she at least felt that we were friends.

Upon reflection I see that we were never truly friends. I was only her friend inbetween guys that she dated(granted it was the same guy about 5 times). I was her friend when she needed a place to stay. I was her friend when she asked me to get her some dinner. I was her friend when she wanted to bitch about stuff and wanted someone to listen.

Then she moved out...

After that the only texts or phone calls I got were asking for a favor. Will you order me this and I'll pay you back? Did a package arrive? Can I come over and use your shower because my parents pipes are frozen? Never a "How are ya doin Mike?". Then the texts ended. I guess the favors were done and I was no longer needed. Then I was deleted off Facebook. At no point did I do anything wrong? I just wasn't needed anymore.

I guess she started dating a guy. And that's fine...that's what people do. And I'm guessing we had reached the "I've got a new guy and Mike is no longer needed." part of our story. This time I wasn't even kept on retainer. I was tossed aside like yesterday's jam. I can't lie...I'm still mad at her for this. I will eventually get over it, but for now I can't help but be angry at this girl that I can't help but think played me for a fool.

But this also opened my eyes to the great people I have in my life. The people I should have been doing favors for. The people that call me up and ask how my day is. The people that actually care about me as much as I care for them. If you're reading this and are one of those folks...I love you. And I'm here if you need me.

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